"When I got older I decided I wanted to be a real writer. I tried to write about real things. I wanted to describe the world, because to live in an undescribed world was too lonely."
*
"Mom?" I said. She turned. "Can I talk to you about something?"
"Of course, darling. Come here."
I took a few steps into the room. There was so much I wanted to say.
"I need you to be --" I said, and then I started to cry.
"Be what?" she said, opening her arms.
"Not sad," I said."
*
"Maybe the first time you saw her you were ten. She was standing in the sun scratching her legs. Or tracing letters in the dirt with a stick. Her hair was being pulled. Or she was pulling someone's hair. And a part of you was drawn to her, and a part of you resisted--wanting to ride off on your bicycle, kick a stone, remain uncomplicated. In the same breath you felt the strength of a man, and a self-pity that made you feel small and hurt. Part of you thought: Please don't look at me. If you don't, I can still turn away. And part of you thought: Look at me."
All beautiful things quoted by Nicole Krauss from her book, 'The History of Love'. Yes, even in sadness there is beauty. Beauty in all things. Have the eyes to see it.
The fabrics I'm working with now are soon to be cut into geometric shapes for my garland. I know, a simple project. Well simple things are nice. Meditative. As I cut each shape out carefully, I'm reminded to think of the task at hand, and not the mounting bills, the children who I feel could use a little more of my time, or the daunting list of to-do's. (Which isn't to be confused with the list of to-do's* that make my heart just sing and that list is much longer and worth lingering over.)
Don't remain uncomplicated. Go forth and complicate your life for the sake of living...for the sake of love and give it all you got.
xo
* {heart-singing, anyone?}
-take handful of stones, skip them off the lake
-run yelling through a field of sunflowers
-skip rope with my girls
-smell the black magic marker again
-go thrifting for vintage fabrics to make more garlands
-chase my dreams until I'm huffing and puffing and out of breath breathlessly so
-find a copy of Secret Daughter, the book recommended by a friend (thanks Lorna!)
-fossil hunting
-make outdoor cushions out of funky vinyl dollar store table cloths
-seek out I MARRIED ADVENTURE and wear each one on successive days without telling my husband and then let his reaction choose the favourite. {secretly I think he may just love Bal D'Afrique}
-write love letters in longhand using indigo ink to my two little girls and pop them in the mail
That's it 'til Friday. xo
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