the dreaming Press.

Do what you love!

Bees buzzed about and hung heavily on purple thistle nearby as if watching me and what I was up to photographing this treasured shell and picture of my late Grandfather. The day was humid and I was out walking with my journals and my camera and wanted to get this shot in the wood near my house before it was time to head back home. I had done all of the tasks required of my day so I was sneaking in some fun before I had to pick up my children.

I'm sure my ideal day would be just like this; walking around shooting film or digital with just nature and a good mood for company. I've been thinking a lot about how I spend my time. I would love to be more wise when it comes to the how I spend it. So I'm pursuing my love. Photography. Hence I stuck my neck out recently while out for dinner at a beautiful and delicious new local restaurant...met a fabulous lady who was looking for a photographer to shoot an evening event and I took the chance and offered my services and now...

...I've been chosen along with another photographer to shoot a local event and this is causing me some anxiety. As you all know, I shoot for fun. This event in September however, is a real job. With expectations attached to it. {Yikes.}

I will put my heart and soul and passion into it, but there is a little voice inside my head already that is saying, They've hired a professional. What do you think YOU are doing? Do you think you are qualified to do this? Are you like, freakin' nuts or something? Ah I do so wish that little voice would be quiet. Have you ever attempted something bigger than you think you can handle? If so, how did you do it without completely losing faith in yourself? Do share, as I can use all the encouragement you can spare please. I know I'm not the only self taught photographer out there. Am I?

I'm taking the chance. You never know unless you take the chance. Wish me luck! xo {I'll share some of my work here with you when the time comes...}

Lesson One: Keep your thumb out of the way of the lens.

 

Afternoon portrait sessions with the six year old princess. 

There are advantages to being home with them more often now-a choice I'll never regret. {So the dishes are piling up, I'll do them when the kids are grown.} I made a vision board or a dream board recently, and right at the top it read "happy children".  Good things are happening folks...good things.  {I gently suggest making one for yourself.}

Random nifty moment in time: I texted my sister-in-law today to request she bring champagne & orange juice to our Good Friday feast at my place this uh, Friday. Ahem.  She texted back immediately: OMG! Those meditation classes are working, you read my mind...I was going to call you and tell you I'm bringing champagne & orange juice!

xoxo

p.s. Besides my clairvoyance sharpening and gaining focus...so are my other senses.  The knots that hide in my shoulders are softening.  I'm more present in my body.  Feels wondrous.  :)

The alchemy of the heart.

 
 
 
 
Check this out. What a view, and great music too.

The alchemy? Lit from within, the divine resides in YOU.

Happy Wednesday.

xo

 

Heed the script of your little inner scribe.

 
This is the view from a lovely lady's living room sofa.  Well, at least in 2009 it was the view.  Since then she has married, had a baby boy, and her life is totally not the same anymore of that I'm sure.  But for a few endearing nights this flat in Greenwich Village was home to my two sisters-in-law and I.  We marvelled at what a glorious job Jo did decorating her place so simply and yet so stylishly.  I fondly look back at New York now and cannot wait to return to eat more pizza, snap more photos, and drink in so much of the abundant art, food & culture that buzzes around each corner there. Who wants to join me?

I look back upon past vacations fondly, whether they consisted of long stays at a beach or quick apartment rentals in major U.S. cities.  Each has offered me a small chunk of my life's story, each has contributed to the development of who I am as a person.  You see no experience is too grand or too tiny to do just that...to contribute to your story.  Each nugget of your existence is worth so vastly much at the end of the day. 

People shape us, whether they know it or not.  Strangers even, with their kindnesses- such as the couple I met on Broadway in a restaurant the first time I travelled to New York.  They knew I was alone and offered to share cheesecake with me.  We did.  I will not ever forget those people.  Simple kindnesses.  Such an easy thing to offer the world.  Wow I guess I'm feeling nostalgic again.  Those nostalgias get me through sometimes...you know, the dull parts.  The parts of life that maybe aren't as dazzling as a train trip to New York City.  Sigh....

Okay that is enough lecturing out of me today is going to be downright exciting! At the little spa we have a wonderful gal coming to our girls night event to teach us a thing or two; I'm decorating a new manicure room and that in itself presents another opportunity to flex my creative muscles...for everything I do is done on a shoestring because that is all the budget entails (but that is *fun!*); and I'm in the midst of creating my own font! {*Yes! My own!*}  Oh my just the thought of that makes me want to boogie on down & dance!  I love fonts, typeface, calligraphy...anything to do with the written and/or printed word.  I'm making my own because well, why not? I need a signature font. I think everyone does.  Don't you? Of course you do.

I'm following "the call" of my calling.  Heeding the script of the little voice within {I hear you, tiny scribe-let's make some magic!}.  Honouring myself, and my deepest wishes.  {It feels mighty good.}

Go have the best day! Sending you a wish on the breeze...catch it, kiss it, then toss it back out for the next guy will you?

xoxo

p.s. Do you just love this? Woodland jewellery. Tiny terrariums.  What could be finer?

A photographic safari. Then and now. {Join me}

 

There is a wanting within me to surround myself with likeminded individuals.  By that I mean (and not toot my own horn but...) kind*, lighthearted, fun and well downright crazy individuals.  Lately it has bubbled up to the surface of my psyche-wanting my attention like a two year old tugging at apron strings. I'm trying in earnest to justify the tugs.  Let's make this happen.

Just slightly over one year ago the most perfect group of people met for an adventure in a van that drove to and fro about the Middle East from the mountains of the north to the seas of the south.  Everywhere in between was frought with laughter, inside jokes, comaraderie, and well, basically....the good rapport of true friendship.

Trips can do that for a group.

Want to experience it for yourself? Let's head to Morocco and laugh ourselves senseless. Morocco, this October.  With me!

Shopping, good food, photography and FUN.  Did I tell you FUN is my middle name?

No actually it isn't but it should be.

xo

*"Kind" is emboldened (new word alert! LOL ) {apparently the word already exists}because well...kindness matters a hell of a lot so if you aren't a kind person with an open mind for travelling into the unknown with grace, decorum and a willingness to see with new eyes then this maybe this trip isn't for you.

Magical Morocco~travel with me! Discover an ancient mystical land this October~

 
Mosque in Fes,

Photo used with permission. Courtesy of Adolf Boluda on flickr 

Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to. ~Alan Keightley

Without new experiences, something inside of us sleeps. The sleeper must awaken. ~Frank Herbert

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. ~Marcel Proust

***

Dear Fellow Travellers,

I mean you.  Yes-YOU!

What are you doing this October 29th to November 6th?

Want to go for a magic carpet ride?

I'm inviting you, fellow experiencer-(who loves to wander the world, and see it with new eyes) to discover a most beautiful land with me.  I'm speaking of Morocco, that North African country that boasts the highest peak-Jebel Toubkal-and the imperial cities of Marrakesh and Fes, and more. 

Would it interest you to see this ancient mystical place with 'like-minded' women- women like YOU who enjoy the beauty of language, culture, architecture, food &  history?

Now I clearly remember being a small girl, and being fascinated by the world of magic carpets, camels, and desert.  I knew in my heart I would want to travel there one day, though my 'little girl heart' didn't know how or when I'd do such a thing.  So you could say that travelling to Morocco has actually been a childhood dream of mine! Now I still possess the childlike heart of my youth-it is full of wonder, awe and joy for all new places on the map. (I've got a pin waiting patiently to be stuck in a map here.)

Imagine us there for a moment...camped one night under the twinkly stars in the desert amidst the world's biggest sand dunes.  There will be nights with belly dancers to entertain us as we sip our mint tea, delicious Moroccan food that we will learn how to prepare ourselves, and we'll photograph/journal the spice markets & souks & kasbahs!! (Shopping is permitted too, of course. For those who enjoy that sort of thing!)

We'll stay in luxury hotels in Fes, Rabat, Marrakech, Casablanca and Ouarzazate.  In Ouarzazate we'll stay at Le Berbere Palace. In Casablanca, we'll stay at Golden Tulip Farah. There is so much to see-so much to experience.  I really want you to join me on this trip! There are unwritten chapters of our lives left to write; new pages to turn, new sensory journeys to take.  Why not write the next chapter of your story with me & we'll walk (and photograph) the road together.  Or perhaps we'll go by camel.  The choice is yours.

Debbie Ross of the Women's Travel Network has hired me (and I'm most honoured) to be a Tour Leader for her well established Women's Travel Network.  First order of business; is to ensure a lovely and inspired group of women enjoy their time in Morocco. 

Magical Morocco!   

{Click to sign up for this travel experience of a lifetime.}

This journey is for those who desire seeing new places, who love to learn & grow as a person, and love the company of others who seek the same.  If that appeals to you-and you like travelling to new and wondrous places seeking out new life experiences...this is the unique trip you need to take this year.

I will be featuring Morocco in a few upcoming posts both here and over at Gypsy Girl's Guide, to whet our appetite for the trip-and to feed the imaginations of those who've already signed up. (Don't worry, there are a few spaces left!) Perhaps you are a painter, a sculptor, a poet or a photographer-or maybe you just like to live life to the fullest and squeeze out all it's empirical goodness...it is my hope to give you food for thought and fuel for your art or your journey. I hope you will join me for this trip to Magical Morocco!

Yours,

Gillian

xo 

Imagine their joy!

 

Last Friday morning, my grandfather died.  He was 92.  He came to Canada by ship and landed at Pier 21 when he arrived in Halifax.  He began his new life here in Toronto, and then brought his family over once he was established a year later.  He was a hard worker.  He loved to grow fruit.  He will be missed greatly by all of us who knew him well.

A ship sails and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says
She is gone.

Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large now as when I last saw her.  Her diminished size and total loss from my sight is in me, not in her.

And just at that moment, when someone at my side says she is gone, there are others who are watching her coming over their horizon and other voices take up a glad shout -There she comes!

That is what dying is.
An horizon and just the limit of our sight.

Lift us up O Lord, that we may see further.

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free

~Bishop Brent

***

Miss me a little - but not too long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me - but let me go

For this is a journey that we must all take
And each must go alone
It's all a part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely, and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me - but let me go

~Anonymous

 

My Grandpa doesn't want a large funeral.  Immediate family only, and no parties!  (He was a very practical guy.)  He came to Toronto, Canada in the early '50's from Portugal to make a better life for his three children and his wife. 

On Friday morning my beloved Grandpa quietly went to a new place, a better place. Those who went before him must have seen him walking towards them and I can only imagine their joy! To see his handsome face once again.  Why I'm sure my Grandma clasped her hands together and then over her mouth all the while talking a mile a minute in Portuguese.  And I am most sure that they are together again, walking along that beach on a most glorious balmy day. 

Til we meet again, Grandpa.  I hold the fondest of memories in my heart that no one can diminish or take away.

I love you.

xoxo

reach for new heights~

 

 Christine Mason Miller's bejewelled wrist & graceful hand. Photo taken earlier this year in Petra, as part of Tara Bradford's Journey To Jordan photography trip.

These last couple of days my heart strings have been tugged on quite a bit.  I've welled up.  I've teared up.  I've sniffled a few times.  A few people have really cracked me open.  Wide open. I wish to thank them for that. They make me long to reach for new heights, stretch myself further, go the distance with my life. Read and see if you agree with me, I'm sure you will.

First, Relyn.  Relyn blogs at Come Sit By My Fire.  She posted a list of prudent advice for her daughter Sloane.  Go read it, you'll want to print it out and share it with your daughters, your sons, and your best friends.  Relyn has a warm heart and always blogs her personal truths.  She has been one of my biggest inspirations.

Second, a woman I don't even know.  At all.  But my mother knew her.  My friend Maithri knew her.  Here is her blog.  She recently passed on but left such a glowing legacy I had to share her with you.  She will gobsmack you with how richly she lived her life.  Go read, go cry.  Go be envious like I was.  Leave her space wanting to reach a little higher.  Thank you Tessa, for your inspirations.  I know your words will continue to ignite a living passion in others like wildfire.

Thirdly, and I say this with a lump in my throat.  Life is fleeting.  Life is beautiful.  Cherish those you love and hold them dear.  For it is but a blink in the twinkly night sky.  Blessed are we who have known the love of a most wonderful mother.  If you still have yours close, make sure you tell her how much she means to you today.

Okay, had to get that out there.  Life isn't always bowls of cherries ya know! If anyone has extra, or is feeling inspired to help, please check out my friend Maithri's organization to see where you fit in.  Who knows, I may bump into you in Swaziland one of these days.  Tessa donated proceeds from her art to PDI, it was a cause that touched her heart.

xoxo

Gillian

p.s. i love you :)

Of passages and small packets; a new map to guide us.

 

Each door opens to opportunity.  Without fail.  The same as each morning dawns on greater possibilities.  I am steadfast in my belief of choice.  In choosing we not only architect the journey (yes, I've used architect as a verb! imagine!) but construct the outcome of our longing. Intent is of utmost importance and does factor in.  When we set our directional "intention-compass", we attract in our chosen destination.  It is that easy. {And fun.} Truly.

 

I am embracing a challenge of which I've never ever attempted before.  I'm writing a book.  NaNoWriMo starts next Monday and I will set sail on the seas of novel writing for 30 days.  I will write 2000 words per day to meet this challenge.  I will not seek perfection, I will not edit my way through this thereby losing precious time to the ideology of perfectionism-I will simply (and hopefully) write a beautiful novel in 30 days.

 

Oh I have other projects.  {Children that need rearing.  A business to run.  A life to live.}  But really, what gives me the greatest pleasure as I breathe in the air of the here and now-is writing.  Words are my balm.  I love what the stringing together of them does for my psyche, my heart.  I love that we all have something to contribute to this life-through our various arts. I hope to contribute through my words and pictures.  Simply put.

 

Which leads me to this seemingly unconnected (yet it is entirely so) thought...I met a woman yesterday who read me like a book.  "You are waiting for something big," she says.  "You can't relax until you deliver this BIG THING to the world.  You want your name in big lights, you want to be remembered."  Smiling, I was caught.  Not for reasons you may expect either. (Like fame, fortune.  No.)  She knew my truth.   She saw my truth beyond what this world may project upon me. She could tell I wanted nothing more than to better this place.  To make it greater.  To leave my mark.  To create something beyond comprehension in terms of sheer wonderfulness. To make a difference in the lives of others. (I wanted to embark upon mightiness! In the humblest manner, see?)

 

Shrugging, I concurred.  I had to give serious consideration to the why of this.  Why? Why is this of utmost and urgent proportion? I still cannot tell you the why.  I wish I knew! {Ahem...Isn't that part of the journey though...figuring all this out? The not knowing?}

 

This much I do know; I came into this world carrying a packet of silent sadness, something I keep tucked into my pocket like a respected old handkerchief...embroidered, vintage, loved.  Occasionally, since I wear my heart on my sleeve this packet is as visible to others as a looming storm cloud charged with thunderheads.  Then on most regular days it isn't as palpable, it morphs quietly into a subdued longing I can't quite put my finger on.  I meet others who have their own little unique and sorrowful packets tucked into their pockets.  We lock eyes a little longer.  We connect through our inadequacies, or perceived shortcomings.  We pretend to be less than we are in each other’s company to keep up the pretence of normalcy.  Yet.  We are different and we know it.

 

We must make the others understand us but how? How??? If we do, we risk all.  We'll be exposed, you see.

 

Outed.

 

Fingers will point to us and the others will group together and remark, "See.  Told you.  They are different."

 

So this BIG THING.  Hmmm.  Is it the book? I do not know.  No, I'm not entirely sure.  The book will serve to purge.  To vent.  To enlighten me, and lighten my load.  I hope it helps anyone reading it to come forth and reach deep into their own pockets to pull out their own little packets and say, 'I have one too.  Came here to Earth with it.  Same as you. Still trying to figure out what to do with it.'

 

To quote the wise woman (who was quoting an old Zen proverb) who had me figured out yesterday, "Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water." She feels there may not be a big thing. She was gracious enough to offer that my contributions are in the every moment.  That everyone I encounter feels the benefit of having known me.  (Try telling this to the inner lost little girl with a small packet in her hand.)

 

However. We each come to our own conclusions in our own time.  I am eagerly awaiting something, but what? I must simply continue to chop wood and carry water...that my gifts to humanity exist in every thing I do.  That by simply being in my moment and contributing my all that my impact will be felt.  {You and yours too.  Your being and your contributing.  Will. Be. Felt.}

 

I left this wise woman’s company confident that I had been given a new map; the old one pulled out of the frame and a new one set in its place (albeit giggling with giddiness and anticipation!).  It is a time of new beginnings; to set sail on uncharted waters, to seek out that which I already know, knowing the world is indeed beyond round and for sure beyond three dimensional.  Yes that is a pretty BIG THING.  And that does not scare me one bit. After all, my intention is to enjoy the sail, all the while doing lots of little big things.

xoxo

 

Crunchy sweet.

 
 
Have a crunchy sweet Thanksgiving weekend! Enjoy :) I will be out with friends tonight for their little guy's first birthday, home tomorrow for some family time and Monday to Thanksgiving dinner with Julian's family. I wish you all the same wonderfulness this weekend no matter what you are doing.

xo