the dreaming Press.

Of passages and small packets; a new map to guide us.

 

Each door opens to opportunity.  Without fail.  The same as each morning dawns on greater possibilities.  I am steadfast in my belief of choice.  In choosing we not only architect the journey (yes, I've used architect as a verb! imagine!) but construct the outcome of our longing. Intent is of utmost importance and does factor in.  When we set our directional "intention-compass", we attract in our chosen destination.  It is that easy. {And fun.} Truly.

 

I am embracing a challenge of which I've never ever attempted before.  I'm writing a book.  NaNoWriMo starts next Monday and I will set sail on the seas of novel writing for 30 days.  I will write 2000 words per day to meet this challenge.  I will not seek perfection, I will not edit my way through this thereby losing precious time to the ideology of perfectionism-I will simply (and hopefully) write a beautiful novel in 30 days.

 

Oh I have other projects.  {Children that need rearing.  A business to run.  A life to live.}  But really, what gives me the greatest pleasure as I breathe in the air of the here and now-is writing.  Words are my balm.  I love what the stringing together of them does for my psyche, my heart.  I love that we all have something to contribute to this life-through our various arts. I hope to contribute through my words and pictures.  Simply put.

 

Which leads me to this seemingly unconnected (yet it is entirely so) thought...I met a woman yesterday who read me like a book.  "You are waiting for something big," she says.  "You can't relax until you deliver this BIG THING to the world.  You want your name in big lights, you want to be remembered."  Smiling, I was caught.  Not for reasons you may expect either. (Like fame, fortune.  No.)  She knew my truth.   She saw my truth beyond what this world may project upon me. She could tell I wanted nothing more than to better this place.  To make it greater.  To leave my mark.  To create something beyond comprehension in terms of sheer wonderfulness. To make a difference in the lives of others. (I wanted to embark upon mightiness! In the humblest manner, see?)

 

Shrugging, I concurred.  I had to give serious consideration to the why of this.  Why? Why is this of utmost and urgent proportion? I still cannot tell you the why.  I wish I knew! {Ahem...Isn't that part of the journey though...figuring all this out? The not knowing?}

 

This much I do know; I came into this world carrying a packet of silent sadness, something I keep tucked into my pocket like a respected old handkerchief...embroidered, vintage, loved.  Occasionally, since I wear my heart on my sleeve this packet is as visible to others as a looming storm cloud charged with thunderheads.  Then on most regular days it isn't as palpable, it morphs quietly into a subdued longing I can't quite put my finger on.  I meet others who have their own little unique and sorrowful packets tucked into their pockets.  We lock eyes a little longer.  We connect through our inadequacies, or perceived shortcomings.  We pretend to be less than we are in each other’s company to keep up the pretence of normalcy.  Yet.  We are different and we know it.

 

We must make the others understand us but how? How??? If we do, we risk all.  We'll be exposed, you see.

 

Outed.

 

Fingers will point to us and the others will group together and remark, "See.  Told you.  They are different."

 

So this BIG THING.  Hmmm.  Is it the book? I do not know.  No, I'm not entirely sure.  The book will serve to purge.  To vent.  To enlighten me, and lighten my load.  I hope it helps anyone reading it to come forth and reach deep into their own pockets to pull out their own little packets and say, 'I have one too.  Came here to Earth with it.  Same as you. Still trying to figure out what to do with it.'

 

To quote the wise woman (who was quoting an old Zen proverb) who had me figured out yesterday, "Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water." She feels there may not be a big thing. She was gracious enough to offer that my contributions are in the every moment.  That everyone I encounter feels the benefit of having known me.  (Try telling this to the inner lost little girl with a small packet in her hand.)

 

However. We each come to our own conclusions in our own time.  I am eagerly awaiting something, but what? I must simply continue to chop wood and carry water...that my gifts to humanity exist in every thing I do.  That by simply being in my moment and contributing my all that my impact will be felt.  {You and yours too.  Your being and your contributing.  Will. Be. Felt.}

 

I left this wise woman’s company confident that I had been given a new map; the old one pulled out of the frame and a new one set in its place (albeit giggling with giddiness and anticipation!).  It is a time of new beginnings; to set sail on uncharted waters, to seek out that which I already know, knowing the world is indeed beyond round and for sure beyond three dimensional.  Yes that is a pretty BIG THING.  And that does not scare me one bit. After all, my intention is to enjoy the sail, all the while doing lots of little big things.

xoxo

 

Living future nostalgias, a lesson from the boy who wears odd socks.

What do you truly savour about your life?

Could it be your career? Friends? Travel? Food? Sleeping in? Loved ones? Ice cream??? {For me, tiger tail on a sugar cone. Plain and simple.  There will never be another flavour invented in the Universe to me, that comes close to rivaling tiger tail.}

Are you focused on any one particular thing, or do you invite in a synchronized swimming chorus of singing prose to help you backstroke amidst the rivers of colour delivered up faithfully to you each day? Do you sway to the tidal rhythms of your ashes to ashes existence? Do you obey your intuition regardless of what your brain tells you are potential hazards? {Remember the brain is bullshit and the tummy is truth...listen to your tummy, easy peasy lemon squeezy.} Are your nights lit by a loving moon full of promise holding dreams? Are you fully embracing your ideas without shooing them away because you are strong and wise and don't let obstacles get in your way because you don't even entertain the idea of an obstacle?

Then I say good for you!  Keep savouring, keep reaping what you sow, and may the karma of what you share come back to you a thousand fold.

Not that I'm suggesting life is without sorrows, in fact sometimes quite the opposite.  I think so much about the colour of life lately and how it has desaturated for some important people in my life.  I am not suggesting we all walk around in a "rosy glasses"-induced fog, but could we strive to savour the nows that are so generously dealt to us?  My friends who hurt remind me every day to embrace the ones I love, for just loving them and being present when they need me is such a tremendous gift that I am so amazed at the wonders it can do for them.  In fact being present is the greatest gift you can give that allows you to reap all the benefits too. 

And guess what? That is all we can do.  (Our best.) That is it.  Be present.

Live your future nostalgia's. The boy who introduced me to the concept is a world traveler, a teacher, and a lover of photography, art, life, and last but most certainly not least a lover of great music.   We can all learn from him, right?  Be available with your full attention wherever you are.  Easy.  Simple.  We have to live in this imperfect world but we can do wonders for our happiness level if we focus on the things and people that bring us joy.  The rest isn't up to us, only our choices and our reactions are.

So, enjoy your ice cream and stop bitching about your neighbour.  You are wasting your time and you are likely making yourself ill. Instead, I beg of you to attack your life like the greatest challenge that has ever been issued, and float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. (Need a visual? Get in the ring with life.  Lace up your gloves and start to dance....POW.  Deliver a punch.  Then keep delivering punches while dancing...claim your title. Ahhh, good match at the end of the road.  You'll be able to bow and thank your opponent.  Once he wakes from his knock out that is...)

Be free, be generous. Eat more ice cream. Get busy making nostalgic things happen.

xo

It dawned on me, there is no such thing as time.

Inside an old church they are restoring at the Citadel, Amman, Jordan. March 2010

I had the pleasure of meeting a fabulous woman through a vibrant and funny friend of mine the other day.  Powerful ideas and gifts were exchanged; simply through animated and open conversation.

I have to say I attract in the most brilliant and gifted people.  I'm so very lucky. Now as a result of this meeting, great things are going to happen!  Isn't life a gift? I'm so jazzed about it, that I'm scribbling notes..ideas..and thoughts quicker than my hand can write.

I sat in a "reflection" park today, amidst the flowers, underneath a giant pine tree that was strung with fairy lights and words carved in stone set randomly about {empathy, responsibility, integrity...}...and I simply journalled to my heart's content.  Don't you just love it when ideas flow through you like that, as though you were some divine vessel of the Universe itself?  Wait, I am a divine vessel through which the Universe speaks.  So are you!  You already knew that, I hope.

I love my little journal, it is from a small press and was a gift from a friend. In there I have story ideas, lists of things I need....BlackBerry...Macbook Air....paper lanterns...purple candles...cardamom tealights...white roses...you get the idea.  It is also full of reminders and poetry and quotes.  Journals are chunks of life in a small contained space.  Microcosm's if you will.

I'll leave you now with the most beautiful thought which I will get to after I set the scene; for 33 years I've had a close friend and just recently her classy and caring mother passed away quite suddenly.  We did the most incredibly honourable thing- we wildly scattered her ashes in a private lake side ceremony that was replete with skipping stones, picking flowers and reading poetry while mourning doves cooed at us directly overhead in the old tree by the water.  Children chased frogs, we cried and remembered, and suddenly I felt that there is no such thing as time. I was seven years old again, in the company of this funny and wonderful friend of mine. It is enchanting how symbolic it is to set someone free to the four winds, up the ashes fly and then they indeed scatter in the wind, very mystically. After a deep breath, "Mum go be free!" my friend cried, as she threw the ashes into the air.  Then later, "She would have loved that," my friend tells me.  I agreed.

Funny how a sad time can connect people together in such a poignant way. I felt so happy and honoured to have been included in their sacred and private occasion. To them I say...thank you. To you I say, that is all for today. xo

Finally, awakened.

As of approximately yesterday...no kidding-I feel like I'm awake after a long, drawn out, foggy sleep.  Figuratively speaking.  These last few weeks held little if any promise at all.  I was trudging along just doing the required bare minimum.  Totally lacking "mojo".  I was "mojo-less."

I worried during these last few weeks how my mood was affecting those around me.  No one seemed to notice. Then I said something about it. Unbeknownst to me those around me were walking about in their own fogs of different calibres.  {We each have our own demons and our own worries that keep us awake at night.} In fact some people around me shared the same thoughts as I did, and when it was mentioned I heard a "Me too!", or a "I thought I was the only one!"

The 'no mojo' thing stemmed from having a lack of defined purpose. I suppose it was always there, but don't we get blind to things that are "everyday" sometimes? Funny how purpose plays into our lives.  I recently rediscovered mine.  It is a neatly packaged gift that I deliver to those around me each day.  It's in the meal preparations.  It's in the sharp tuck of a bedsheet.  The windows get thrown open and fresh air spills into the room.  It is a simple phrase or a gentle encouragement. 

I rediscovered it. Thank goodness! {And for awhile I think I was looking too hard for answers.  Solutions.  Magic bullets.}

The answer came when I...let go.

I dropped my expectations. {Letting go produces a myriad of results.}  The answers pop up where you least expect them.  Then dawnings of thought occur when sitting still within the quiet moments.  As well, driving the car {alone!} produces a nugget or two of wisdom.  {It is times like these when fingers can't scrawl fast enough, pencil on paper too laborious. It is then that a small recording device would come in handy. It is also much safer for other drivers on the road~!}

Which brings us to today.  Today O fetched the mail.  She hands me a beautiful flowered silver envelope.  Postmarked from Santa Monica.  A delightful and hilarious surprise spilled out and made me laugh for a good five minutes.  Blessings fly in like owl mail sometimes.  When you least expect them to.  Which is the way it happens...because as we discussed looking too hard for things makes them not come. It's kind of a Murphy's Law of sorts.

So keep on not looking for your happiness!! 

It's bound to drop through the chimney at some point.  Then and only then shall you laugh yourself silly knowing that the Universe has bigger plans for you than you know.

xoxo

Keep up the dreamin'.

 

Tea? Why, yes please....

If I invited you in for tea, would you accept?

Would you offer my child a sweet?  Ask him his name?

Would it matter to you that my second floor was absent? Waiting patiently for the second generation to build and move their family in, according to tradition....?

  
Will your children understand the level of patience and calm that our children afford them- in the face of no video games or television to distract them....?

When you stop to breathe in our landscape, will you allow us our space? That in which we have not built up in the name of commerce or gain?  We have precious things to offer the world that don't involve competing with larger cities or countries....!  We hold our own, thank you.

Would you join us for herbal tea?  Perchance in places where famous people were taking steps in their own journeys?  Tea with mint never tasted so nice!  Oh and beautiful Israel is just 15 feet away.  However, do not veer off the provided path, for land mines are located any which way, and cameras are trained on your every step-so going off the path could mean any number of troubles for you!  We are in a military zone, you see. (It is for your own protection, dear friends.)

My goodness the river is cold.  COLD.  See page 157 of the April 2010 National Geographic to see just exactly where a certain group of travellers stood, not three weeks ago.

If you feel enough at home then please accept our hospitality.  We'll be insulted if you do not. 

So-one lump or two? It would seem that in Jordan, sugar in your tea is the norm.  It is expected.  So if this sounds like your kind of place, do visit and stay for tea.  You won't regret a single moment of it.  xo

As usual click to enlarge the photos.  However, the shot of the little girl at Petra was out of focus, but she was so cute I couldn't stand not posting her, so forgive the photographers blunder. :)

Welcome new beginnings....

Our neighbours are out canning tomatoes.  They are having a *tomato party*! It is a sight to behold. They are such lovely people too.  Everyone on our new street is, boy did we hit the neighbour jackpot buying this house.  I love the canning and preserving traditions, they keep summer alive throughout the cold months.

Outside, Julian is finishing building our fence.  Olivia is picniking with a friend.  I'm about to take my little one for a long bike ride into the country.  Yes, the country is literally right up the road.  We live on the cusp of our city.  Hopefully they won't build north of us for awhile.  I like seeing the frogs migrate and the crickets bounce in the little storm ponds.

~bones of a poet~ the e-course is teaching us *new* ways of seeing!  So I shall bring my camera on the bike ride, in the hopes of capturing the undiscovered beauty.  Another new beginning for me.

A roast cooks in the crock pot, seasoned and getting tenderer and tenderer, I'll do up some small potatoes with garlic and steam some veggies too.  Not quite a full roast dinner, as fall has yet to appear just yet.  It is sunny with cooler evenings, my favourite time of the year.  Okay that is all I have for now.  There is much to be done and with school starting tomorrow, I want to enjoy this last glorious day of summer vacation,.  I hope you are enjoying yours too. xo

The fruition of summer's requiem~

Olivia washing up one of our fresh tomatoes.

Summer's closing is drawing near.  But the still and the humming heat of only the last two weeks has produced many spoils. 

Tomatoes, for one.  I requested help with a stewing recipe on a social networking site this morning...and found some very useful replies, thank you! :)

In the coming week I shall peel, dice, boil and can these luscious red toms up for eating in the winter.  While eating my delicious vegan** dinner tonight, I dreamed of one I'd be eating in January....!

Organic whole wheat elbow macaroni and my stewed tomatoes! I'll put it with a simple salad starring my favourite raspberry dressing.  {Simple meals taste the best.} 

Tonight I'm catching up on the things that aren't so yummy, my expenses and my books.  Blah! ;)

I hope your night is way more fun than mine!! xoxo

p.s.** I ate a tofu enchilada, with a side of Spanish rice & beans.  My tummy is happy! I can't wait for THIS, next week...by the way, I'm not vegetarian.  Only part time, like 65% of the time! Maybe more...hmm...!

What are your skies like today?

~Bottle of coke~photograph by gillian da silva

Things go better, when Coke and I, get together.  :)

I'm drinking an icy chilled Coke right now...albeit in the form of a slushie from the corner store.  It's hot, I'm bothered... so I thought, why not?

Some random randoms;

I'm loving the sound of birds chirping in the morning outside my window, something I didn't hear in the city due to high traffic.  They singsong me awake, and then in the evening, the happy buzz of insects chirping goes well with my evening tea.  Nature, it seems, has sought me out and found me.  :)

I am grocery listing for the upcoming week, we are vacationing by the lake and I mustn't forget marshmallows, or the children will completely freak out.  Cheese strings, check.  Cheesy popcorn, check.  Big fat hot dogs with mustard, check. :)

Remember the movie "Vanilla Skies"?  Well I was one of a few people who actually liked that film (I found it interesting, as far as psychological thrillers go), but the name was taken from a painting by Claude Monet. My skies look like that right now.  I'm wondering what your skies look like today?

I just love jelly beans.  Especially the Jelly Belly kind, and I like to eat them with my eyes closed and try to guess the flavour.  Any idea what my fave one is?  I adore this one.

Have a super beautiful day followed by a cosy happy sleep with vivid gorgeous vast and sweeping epic dreams. xo

Added random bonus;

14 years ago I was in the delivery room for a most beautiful moment, the birth of my nephew.  Well he now TOWERS over me, and is such a cute thing you could pinch his cheeks all week long.  HERE is the cake my brother and sister in law got him for his birthday...super cool, don't you think? Yes, that is his actual cake featured on the blog, "Cake it from me". Is she a genius, or what??

Days of wine & roses~

  

This past weekend was peppered with many seasonings; nutritious and delicious food, happy family and friends sharing a celebratory mood, and the joys of exploring a new and uncluttered space to call our own.  It was bruschetta on crusty bread, balsamic on crunchy greens, and red wine. 

I am still the dreamer I was; launching newer and broader ideas out into the vast Universe to see what comes around again my way.  I dream of an art retreat, a quiet place where my soul can paint and photograph happily amidst the humming of cicadas and wind swept cedars.  A place near water, that is accessible to all the family, and it would have a spirit of it's own; a kindly, mothering spirit.  The kind of place that nurtures your bones.

I'm wishing (in vain!) that Domino would publish their monthly magazine again, so for now I look to their decorating "Bible" and hold it dear, for nothing in the stores has come close to it, with it's rich infusion of small space decorating ideas and it's level of sheer creativity. 

 

Our new home has a wrap around porch, and a yellow front door.  Just what I had asked for! So it deserves some roses, rambling climbing roses...and wisteria. {As all homes do! :) }

Lots of climbing, layered, fresh flowering goodness.  Since there is no landscaping, it will be up to me for these things.  I plan to shop for roses in the coming weeks.  :)

 

I'll finish "The Kite Runner" today...had to put it down numerous times due to life.  Life must happen and so it interferes with blogging and reading.  It's a must read if you haven't done so already.  Next on my list is a book my friend Heather gave me two years! ago.  "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Bronte.  I'm very excited to read this because I finally unpacked all the books and this one was sitting on top.  (I know, I'm the last woman alive to read it!)

What are you reading?  Summer is reading season, don't you think? 

The rest of our week will include the following; gathering up wildflowers for pressing, collecting rocks from the beach for painting, antiquing and estate sale-ing, and shopping for roses.  (Not to mention the work we have cut out for us at the new place, cleaning and unpacking. Joyous things like that!)  I hope you all enjoy your week and keep dreaming big, it does wonders.  xo

Little appreciations, an inspired post.

Christina at Soul Aperture wrote a post on "Simple Things in life".  I am following suit, as I believe in gratitude so deeply.  Little things do make our lives what they are.  We need to just pay attention.  So for my rendition, I'll walk you through Greenwich Village, the first of two posts I'll do on this trip.  Come along, and if you haven't already counted your own blessings, you may want to do your own post! According to Christina's rules, it's a list, some photos, or a post on the "simple things".  The first photo I've shown you here is a gorgeous apartment on Bleecker Street, a lovely place to hang your hat and read a book when you are done venturing out for wine and pizza.  So home is the first on my list.

 

A place to eat.  Be it a restaurant, your backyard BBQ or a dinner party hosted by a friend.  Where there is food, you've satisfied one of Maslow's hierarchies, and henceforth should be grateful no matter what.  Each day I hit the "click to give" button on the Hunger Site.  I can't imagine being in a place where my children couldn't eat. This sign represents food and also creativity, two things to feed our soul.  August is located in Greenwich.

 

Freedoms.  Liberties.  Let's not take them for granted.  Oh, and by the way...for my American readers....here we just call it "bacon".  LOL!

 

Adding a little "you" to your front stoop.  I am so excited about moving to my new home, because it already has a yellow front door!  It will save me from painting it yellow.  Oh it is a gorgeous, welcoming colour.  (I've had red doors for years! Still love red though.)

 

For any writer, photographer, or artist...a space in which to work can be completely sacred.  This is the desk space in the little apartment we rented.  Two talented people reside there.

 

You don't need anything but a pen and a notecard to make someone's day.  Christina mentioned loving opening her "snail mail".  There is nothing nicer than opening the mail and getting a brown paper parcel or a handwritten letter.  I can't go into a stationery store without leaving with lots of new crispy paper.  I'm a bit of a vintage postcard addict too.

Last on my list today...warm apple tarts and cool lemonade.  Why not???

See you next post for more little appreciations. Enjoy your week everyone! xo