the dreaming Press.

Do what you love!

Bees buzzed about and hung heavily on purple thistle nearby as if watching me and what I was up to photographing this treasured shell and picture of my late Grandfather. The day was humid and I was out walking with my journals and my camera and wanted to get this shot in the wood near my house before it was time to head back home. I had done all of the tasks required of my day so I was sneaking in some fun before I had to pick up my children.

I'm sure my ideal day would be just like this; walking around shooting film or digital with just nature and a good mood for company. I've been thinking a lot about how I spend my time. I would love to be more wise when it comes to the how I spend it. So I'm pursuing my love. Photography. Hence I stuck my neck out recently while out for dinner at a beautiful and delicious new local restaurant...met a fabulous lady who was looking for a photographer to shoot an evening event and I took the chance and offered my services and now...

...I've been chosen along with another photographer to shoot a local event and this is causing me some anxiety. As you all know, I shoot for fun. This event in September however, is a real job. With expectations attached to it. {Yikes.}

I will put my heart and soul and passion into it, but there is a little voice inside my head already that is saying, They've hired a professional. What do you think YOU are doing? Do you think you are qualified to do this? Are you like, freakin' nuts or something? Ah I do so wish that little voice would be quiet. Have you ever attempted something bigger than you think you can handle? If so, how did you do it without completely losing faith in yourself? Do share, as I can use all the encouragement you can spare please. I know I'm not the only self taught photographer out there. Am I?

I'm taking the chance. You never know unless you take the chance. Wish me luck! xo {I'll share some of my work here with you when the time comes...}

Connections & karma.

 
The morning drive is all about the music.  Loud & lovely.  {Oh just go buy the album already, it is fantastic, every last song. Repeatedly. They are poets.} Singing, at the top of our lungs.  The kids exit at the school, I continue on singing solo all the way to work.

I can bake now.  Did I tell you? I'm most impressed.  The kids think I'm a star.  (Shhh, let's allow that for awhile, shall we? They're still young after all.) Okay now for something random yet important methinks.

While reading an article tonight I gasped aloud, and a tear sprang to my eyes.  I sense a very divine connection here in the world of the interwebs, but reading this particular story drilled it home for me.  An expectant woman befriended another on one of those mommy websites, it then became their meeting place to chat and swap stories of expectations, hopes & dreams.  They carried on throughout their pregnancies, births & subsequent child rearing together online, all the while exchanging correspondence, advice and friendship. 

One day while looking at a photograph of the other's child, the woman noticed a distinctively different colour of the child's pupil.  It was white in the photograph, and due to a previous encounter with such a thing, she emailed her online friend immeditately to suggest a doctor's visit.  Her intention wasn't to alarm the woman or cause trouble, just to help. 

It turned out that the child had retinoblastoma.  The email likely saved the child's life.  She has a prosthetic eye now, and is cancer free after having multiple chemo & radiation treatments. 

Why bother telling you this? Because I used to view the internet as superficial.  Social media to me was a waste of time.  Networking and building connections with strangers seemed odd to me.  But in the last year I've really come to value the friendships I've made online.  Each connection a link to my world.  Online life is valuable too.  I hear all the time that people want to limit their online time, to get a "real life" etc.  But to them I say everything in moderation.

There is a reason far beyond what you can see right now for you reading this at this very moment.  And another for you having connected with me at all, be it online or in "real life".  In some cases, with some of you, I've had the pleasure of both.  I've never been disappointed to meet any of you.  Not one, single, solitary regret.

I've flown to Vancouver, Arizona, New York & Florida just to meet with other bloggers.  (I've driven to Toronto and had lunch with a blogger. I have met with the most delightful and charming blogger for lunch and shopping in Niagara on the Lake and we plan to do it again in the spring.)

Each experience different from the next and with each I've had a kind of enlightenment.  Each person has lit up my life to some degree.  So the next time you make an online connection, don't dismiss it as superficial.  You get what you put out.  Remember that simple rule: you attract back in what you have put out into the world. {Plant your hopes with good seeds.}

If you like to sing loud in cars, take photographs, bake, and travel out into the world to meet beautiful "strangers" then perhaps that is what you will get back too. {And you just may even save someone's life.}

xoxo

reach for new heights~

 

 Christine Mason Miller's bejewelled wrist & graceful hand. Photo taken earlier this year in Petra, as part of Tara Bradford's Journey To Jordan photography trip.

These last couple of days my heart strings have been tugged on quite a bit.  I've welled up.  I've teared up.  I've sniffled a few times.  A few people have really cracked me open.  Wide open. I wish to thank them for that. They make me long to reach for new heights, stretch myself further, go the distance with my life. Read and see if you agree with me, I'm sure you will.

First, Relyn.  Relyn blogs at Come Sit By My Fire.  She posted a list of prudent advice for her daughter Sloane.  Go read it, you'll want to print it out and share it with your daughters, your sons, and your best friends.  Relyn has a warm heart and always blogs her personal truths.  She has been one of my biggest inspirations.

Second, a woman I don't even know.  At all.  But my mother knew her.  My friend Maithri knew her.  Here is her blog.  She recently passed on but left such a glowing legacy I had to share her with you.  She will gobsmack you with how richly she lived her life.  Go read, go cry.  Go be envious like I was.  Leave her space wanting to reach a little higher.  Thank you Tessa, for your inspirations.  I know your words will continue to ignite a living passion in others like wildfire.

Thirdly, and I say this with a lump in my throat.  Life is fleeting.  Life is beautiful.  Cherish those you love and hold them dear.  For it is but a blink in the twinkly night sky.  Blessed are we who have known the love of a most wonderful mother.  If you still have yours close, make sure you tell her how much she means to you today.

Okay, had to get that out there.  Life isn't always bowls of cherries ya know! If anyone has extra, or is feeling inspired to help, please check out my friend Maithri's organization to see where you fit in.  Who knows, I may bump into you in Swaziland one of these days.  Tessa donated proceeds from her art to PDI, it was a cause that touched her heart.

xoxo

Gillian

p.s. i love you :)

even the flowers look longingly forward...for we all need adventures to look forward to!

Passing by my closet tonight, I noticed a tiny droplet of water on my black suitcase.  We'll call her "Heys".

I stopped in my tracks, spinning to face her I implore, "Sweetie, my little hardcase- what is wrong? Why are you crying?"

Whispering, almost croaking she could barely speak, she squeaks out, "We haven't gone anywhere for awhile.  We...have stayed home a lot lately.  Why haven't you taken me anywhere?"

Dropping to my knees in front of her I begged forgiveness, "Oh, my. I'm so very sorry.  Had I known-"

"Instead of blogging tomorrow, could you scour the internet for flights? I kinda wanted to see Santa Monica....maybe take a yoga class? Take some pictures on the beach? Hang out?" she beams up at me with that wide-eyed suitcasey kind of gaze.

"Ohhhh-kay. I'll see what I can do, little one," patting her on the top of her, uh, handle.

Smiling, the water droplet disappeared into thin air and I wondered for a split second if I had just been ever so slightly manipulated.  Hmph.  Methinks so.  Cheeky suitcase!

xoxo

The charmingest of balconies.

I captured this on my phone the other day while walking through The Beach area of Toronto, my friend Christina and I walked "The Underwear Affair" and our team of two kicked proverbial ass.  Indeed we did. 

I stalled briefly after accidently turning my phone off, I wanted a picture of a yellow front door that I saw...I have a thing for them because my front door is yellow.  Yellow doors are the happiest of doors to go through, you see.  But when my phone gave me a hard time, I gave up and we completed our walk amidst all the jiggly and some not so jiggly buns out walking for the same cause. I never got the picture. 

But the neighbourhood we saw on our walk was so cute, charming and full of life.  There was even a fat ginger cat sunning himself out on a dangerous ledge without a care in the world. It was Christina who noticed him, "Look at that cat!" she said laughing.

As we passed the homes, which we both fell in love with...I wondered to myself, who lives here? You know me, whenever I walk by charming cosy homes I'm just itching to walk up and bang on the front door...invite them out on to the porch to chat.  Small talk I think would work well.  Then we'd progress to something a little deeper, a little more meaningful.  I wondered what music was in the cd player here at this home, the one with the most charmingest of balconies? 

Do they listen to the Rolling Stones?

Do they smoke shisha?

Do they tuck or untuck? (Shirts and bedsheets) 

Do they feel happy or sad?

Favourite colour? Smell? Feeling?

How are things at work?

Are they in love????

Are they truly living?

I walked along with my friend, and wondered how she was coping.  You see we were walking in memory of her boyfriend, who she had lost in April of this year to cancer.  I feel for her going through this journey as she herself tries to live again.  She is the bravest and sweetest girl you could ever meet.  I looked back to myself at her age, and I had been with Julian already nearly three years.  Which is precisely the amount of time Christina had with Jake.  Several times while walking I had a lump in my throat.  Theirs was true love, cut short.  I'm usually pretty Zen about the cycles of life and death but I do not hesitate to tell you that they were both royally ripped off. 

Now I don't know about the charming home with the balcony, whether they listen to the Stones or not.  But Jake and Christina did.  She told me their song.  In particular, the line they shared: wild horses, we'll ride them someday.

Go live while you are alive. Sieze every opportunity, kiss everyone you love and tell them so, and please don't forget to listen to the Rolling Stones. 

xoxo

Samsara.

 

"From the solemn gloom of the temple children run out to sit in the dust, God watches them play and forgets the priest."

"Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it."

"Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf."

~Rabindranath Tagore

I love Tagore, do you? His words have a dark beauty to them, and a depth that my spirit seeks out in others. I'm drawn to deep people, and occasionally the dark and troubled people.  They seem to have more going on upstairs than the ones who flounder about on the surface of things...the surface of their thoughts too.  I suppose I crave the cerebral. Who is your favourite poet, or philosopher? Who's words do you drink in for sustenance?

Lupe is in the next realm.  We'll meet her again someday in one form or another. Meanwhile, Frida has developed gold spots on her chrysalis that are simply breathtaking. Will try to photograph it for you, without disturbing her too much.

Going to make a quinoa and roasted vegetable salad for dinner.  Drinking lots of smartwater, as it tastes as good as any water from the clouds may taste; soft, palatable and not the least bit boring.  I'm aiming at staying hydrated, and it feels good. 

And that is all for today. xo

 

Living future nostalgias, a lesson from the boy who wears odd socks.

What do you truly savour about your life?

Could it be your career? Friends? Travel? Food? Sleeping in? Loved ones? Ice cream??? {For me, tiger tail on a sugar cone. Plain and simple.  There will never be another flavour invented in the Universe to me, that comes close to rivaling tiger tail.}

Are you focused on any one particular thing, or do you invite in a synchronized swimming chorus of singing prose to help you backstroke amidst the rivers of colour delivered up faithfully to you each day? Do you sway to the tidal rhythms of your ashes to ashes existence? Do you obey your intuition regardless of what your brain tells you are potential hazards? {Remember the brain is bullshit and the tummy is truth...listen to your tummy, easy peasy lemon squeezy.} Are your nights lit by a loving moon full of promise holding dreams? Are you fully embracing your ideas without shooing them away because you are strong and wise and don't let obstacles get in your way because you don't even entertain the idea of an obstacle?

Then I say good for you!  Keep savouring, keep reaping what you sow, and may the karma of what you share come back to you a thousand fold.

Not that I'm suggesting life is without sorrows, in fact sometimes quite the opposite.  I think so much about the colour of life lately and how it has desaturated for some important people in my life.  I am not suggesting we all walk around in a "rosy glasses"-induced fog, but could we strive to savour the nows that are so generously dealt to us?  My friends who hurt remind me every day to embrace the ones I love, for just loving them and being present when they need me is such a tremendous gift that I am so amazed at the wonders it can do for them.  In fact being present is the greatest gift you can give that allows you to reap all the benefits too. 

And guess what? That is all we can do.  (Our best.) That is it.  Be present.

Live your future nostalgia's. The boy who introduced me to the concept is a world traveler, a teacher, and a lover of photography, art, life, and last but most certainly not least a lover of great music.   We can all learn from him, right?  Be available with your full attention wherever you are.  Easy.  Simple.  We have to live in this imperfect world but we can do wonders for our happiness level if we focus on the things and people that bring us joy.  The rest isn't up to us, only our choices and our reactions are.

So, enjoy your ice cream and stop bitching about your neighbour.  You are wasting your time and you are likely making yourself ill. Instead, I beg of you to attack your life like the greatest challenge that has ever been issued, and float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. (Need a visual? Get in the ring with life.  Lace up your gloves and start to dance....POW.  Deliver a punch.  Then keep delivering punches while dancing...claim your title. Ahhh, good match at the end of the road.  You'll be able to bow and thank your opponent.  Once he wakes from his knock out that is...)

Be free, be generous. Eat more ice cream. Get busy making nostalgic things happen.

xo

Finally, awakened.

As of approximately yesterday...no kidding-I feel like I'm awake after a long, drawn out, foggy sleep.  Figuratively speaking.  These last few weeks held little if any promise at all.  I was trudging along just doing the required bare minimum.  Totally lacking "mojo".  I was "mojo-less."

I worried during these last few weeks how my mood was affecting those around me.  No one seemed to notice. Then I said something about it. Unbeknownst to me those around me were walking about in their own fogs of different calibres.  {We each have our own demons and our own worries that keep us awake at night.} In fact some people around me shared the same thoughts as I did, and when it was mentioned I heard a "Me too!", or a "I thought I was the only one!"

The 'no mojo' thing stemmed from having a lack of defined purpose. I suppose it was always there, but don't we get blind to things that are "everyday" sometimes? Funny how purpose plays into our lives.  I recently rediscovered mine.  It is a neatly packaged gift that I deliver to those around me each day.  It's in the meal preparations.  It's in the sharp tuck of a bedsheet.  The windows get thrown open and fresh air spills into the room.  It is a simple phrase or a gentle encouragement. 

I rediscovered it. Thank goodness! {And for awhile I think I was looking too hard for answers.  Solutions.  Magic bullets.}

The answer came when I...let go.

I dropped my expectations. {Letting go produces a myriad of results.}  The answers pop up where you least expect them.  Then dawnings of thought occur when sitting still within the quiet moments.  As well, driving the car {alone!} produces a nugget or two of wisdom.  {It is times like these when fingers can't scrawl fast enough, pencil on paper too laborious. It is then that a small recording device would come in handy. It is also much safer for other drivers on the road~!}

Which brings us to today.  Today O fetched the mail.  She hands me a beautiful flowered silver envelope.  Postmarked from Santa Monica.  A delightful and hilarious surprise spilled out and made me laugh for a good five minutes.  Blessings fly in like owl mail sometimes.  When you least expect them to.  Which is the way it happens...because as we discussed looking too hard for things makes them not come. It's kind of a Murphy's Law of sorts.

So keep on not looking for your happiness!! 

It's bound to drop through the chimney at some point.  Then and only then shall you laugh yourself silly knowing that the Universe has bigger plans for you than you know.

xoxo

Keep up the dreamin'.

 

All my troubles seemed so far away...

I decided to look back in my archives {mess is more like it, ha ha!} to see what was happening "photographically speaking" a year ago today.  It looks as though I was out with my camera at a local park at dusk, photographing peonies & dandelions & roses.

It had rained that day, and I remember the light as the sun was going down and wanting to zip out quickly with my camera.  I froze.  The weather was very cool, much cooler than it is this time this year.  {Currently suffering a heat wave at the moment.} 

I thought as I uploaded this picture about what was troubling me a year ago.  Things that now I likely can barely remember and yet I'm sure at the time they stressed me out to no end.  The time and energy wasted on worrying about these things stays with me and yet the little 'problems' do not.  They in fact escape my memory altogether. 

So, if this is true, and if it is true of most 'things' or 'problems', hadn't we best hold out for clear skies and not let it bother us so much? Could we wait a little longer, until whatever it is has burned off like the fog under a bright morning sun? Maybe like my dear wise mother says, we need to ask ourselves, "Will this matter one  year from now?" If the answer to that is yes then by all means employ the help of family and friends to see you through.  If the answer is no however, then shouldn't we let go of it?  Allow the answer to come?  Allow the happiness in despite ourselves? There is a power in letting go of control.  Most would argue the opposite but truly I beg of you to try this.  Let go.  Let go of worry, sadness.  Embrace a new day.  If this is hard for you then simply reach out and ask for an opinion, a hug or a solution. 

The troubles of last year simply faded away and I'm still standing.  {Faced with a whole new set but that is besides the point.} I'll take my own advice and see what happens.

Dream on...xoxo