the dreaming Press.

walk a path lit with violets & happy hearts; today's evening post

 
Our hearts are in a botanical space, lit up with violets & hummingbirds in a pale & lovely symmetry.  Singing with valour and glee they beat uptickingly to gather up armfuls of mossy trees...as lilacs perfuming our very air. 

These are our choices.  

Allowing for the prana flow, the wild climbing of vines, the shock-waves of love that pulsate chuggingly from our raspberry-hued engines, the clapping of hands and the breaking-it-down Charlie Brown's, & the walking amidst paths of our own making {the ones lit with violets & happy hearts} rather than some pale version of one forged previously for us.  

This day was lime marmalade on rye, margarita cake & rhubarb martinis.  What an organically imbued palette of gastronomy! Our friend and neighbour hollered over the fence, "Cake and martinis?" Well, duh! Of course! See you after we get home from the park.

Skipping back from sunwashed swingsets & 'neath a singing cicadan moonrise...our hands & fingers hammocked, intertwined as if lingering lakeside at a cottage midsummer afternoon. A familiar place.  A place where the happy hearts of family dwell. Kudos to my friend for the superb rhubarb martini.  Sheer perfection!

Hope you've made your own conscious choices.  {To do such a thing is a magnet for divine prosperity!}

Let there be light.

xoxo

 

Imagine their joy!

 

Last Friday morning, my grandfather died.  He was 92.  He came to Canada by ship and landed at Pier 21 when he arrived in Halifax.  He began his new life here in Toronto, and then brought his family over once he was established a year later.  He was a hard worker.  He loved to grow fruit.  He will be missed greatly by all of us who knew him well.

A ship sails and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says
She is gone.

Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large now as when I last saw her.  Her diminished size and total loss from my sight is in me, not in her.

And just at that moment, when someone at my side says she is gone, there are others who are watching her coming over their horizon and other voices take up a glad shout -There she comes!

That is what dying is.
An horizon and just the limit of our sight.

Lift us up O Lord, that we may see further.

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free

~Bishop Brent

***

Miss me a little - but not too long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me - but let me go

For this is a journey that we must all take
And each must go alone
It's all a part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely, and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me - but let me go

~Anonymous

 

My Grandpa doesn't want a large funeral.  Immediate family only, and no parties!  (He was a very practical guy.)  He came to Toronto, Canada in the early '50's from Portugal to make a better life for his three children and his wife. 

On Friday morning my beloved Grandpa quietly went to a new place, a better place. Those who went before him must have seen him walking towards them and I can only imagine their joy! To see his handsome face once again.  Why I'm sure my Grandma clasped her hands together and then over her mouth all the while talking a mile a minute in Portuguese.  And I am most sure that they are together again, walking along that beach on a most glorious balmy day. 

Til we meet again, Grandpa.  I hold the fondest of memories in my heart that no one can diminish or take away.

I love you.

xoxo

Contentment can sometimes be wrapped up in a dream.

 
My Grandma and me in 1975. I dig my Grandma's groovy collar.  The pink gingham pattern on her blouse is pretty too.  I have fond memories of her and her apartment near the airport in Toronto.  The planes were fun to watch from her balcony and I loved the sills for her windows, they were marble and at least a foot wide.  You could have sat on there like a windowseat.  She smiled a lot.  At least at me she did. Her bedroom was great too, she had a teddy bear collection that I envied greatly.   

I miss her so. She left us for the next life in 1997, the same year the world lost Princess Diana and Mother Theresa.  I remember how she loved Oscar de la Renta perfume, and when I smell it now I immediately think of her.

I miss my other Granma a lot too. She passed on in 2005.  She laughed a lot and liked to feed us.  If you weren't eating, she wanted to know why.  What is the matter, are you sick? Eat! Eat! I have dreamed of both my Grandma and my Granma.

In the one dream I met my Grandma (pictured above) and her cousin Phyllis in a 1950's restaurant booth.  They were much younger in the dream, and had hair like 1940's movie stars.  My Grandma sternly yet lovingly told me that I would never dream of her again, that she had to move on.  They then left, smiling and waving from a convertible car.  I felt content, as though she had left me something to get me through. 

The dream in which I met my Granma, we were walking along the most beautiful beach at sunset.  She was telling me how happy she was and how amazing things were where she was.  Seagulls were flying overhead, the sun blazing, the waves lapping at the shore.  Families gathered for picnics and my Granma and I walking along wearing sundresses and floppy hats. It was also a very contented dream.  {Grandad you listening? Maybe it is time you paid me a visit.}

Sometimes those dreams and simply recalling them gets me through a day.

May all your dreams be sweet, contented, and may you meet up with someone you love the next time you lay your head down for sleep.  They will come when you least expect them to.

xoxo

plant your hopes with good seeds~

 
The bread machine works.  It actually works! I made a delightfully sweet whole wheat loaf today and couldn't have been more pleased.  There is a domesticity settling in to my bones now that the crackling cold wails outside (wanting to sap moisture from my skin and brittle my hair into straw.) My only comforts being my children's laughter, my family & my music.  It plays on, warming the very air with each note. I found this photograph of our old office space, it reminded me of a dream-a watercolour awash with it's own notes of green and hazy happinesses.  The swirly 85 year old  glass still intact and hosting a paper solar system, but minus Pluto sadly.  The kids found out about dear old Pluto and so therefore have left it out of every collage, drawing and paper scale model.  But let's not forget that star.  After all, it is still a star right?

Melancholies seep into my bones too, future ones.  I'm already reminiscent of today and tomorrow, days which are filled with joy & an ease that is expected when ones children are so very young.  The world's problems have yet to weigh that heavily on their shoulders.   I laugh at work when talking with my friend about retirement.  We both smile big whenever we think of it.  We expect to retire soon and why not? I'm tired of the old model of waiting until you are 65.  I will retire and then become enveloped in the joys of my family and my hobbies and my life.  I'll travel with them.  I'll travel without them, pop a postcard into the mail for them.  We'll paint, hike and journal.  Bake more breads.  We'll do these things because we are young enough to enjoy them without the aches and pains of being past our prime.  Hey, it is only a dream right now.  But tell me, wherefore would we be if we didn't plan the manifestations of tomorrow? Toiling out our days as per our forefather's notions? Still sadly and unnecessarily believing that money doesn't grow on trees?  Well it does.  In plenty.  Take your bucket to the tree and go fill it, you'll see. 

Then climb that ladder to the stars, the ones that sparkle and shine with the promises and seeds planted of your tomorrows.

xoxo

It's Show Time!

All the world is a stage.

 

Colours, starry curtains, fir trees. 

Sensing a common theme here? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  This set was designed by a five year old girl.  My five year old girl, who loves the woods and colourful houses and starry curtains.

I love this old cereal box stage she created last week. I sit eagerly awaiting the big show. All I know is, it features a pig and a popsicle stick man.

I've got my drink,

 
a refreshing cola.

I've got my snack,

 
a wee bucket of popcorn.

I'll let you know how the show went.  Hopefully I'll return with rave reviews!

xoxo

a love story~

 

A long long time ago a geeky girl met a great guy. {They were made for each other.}

A whirlwind courtship ensued for four years. {This taught them the value of spontaneity.}

They broke up in order to grow up, for three whole years. Each relegated to their own living quarters, she in her large one bedroom terra cotta apartment with its sparkling purple kitchen countertops and  three cats to keep her company. Their names-Cassiopeia, Felix and Jones.  Not really a girl to date much, she often times just hung out with her married friends, thank goodness each of those couples had a spare room with her name on it for those occasions when she just couldn't stand to stay alone in her wonderfully charming yet awfully lonely apartment.  {This taught her the value of true friendship.} 

They hooked up again thirteen years ago this coming March.  {This taught her the value of patience, and non-compromise.}

They then became home owners together. {This taught them the value of financial strain.}

They then adopted a delightful Jack Russell Terrier.  Then *surprise!* they had a darling blonde haired, green eyed baby girl.  A tough act to follow was that little miss, but along came (finally! after four years trying) a sister for her, a new baby girl with brown hair and brown eyes.  Double trouble.  {These three taught them the value of putting others first in life.}

And so came the time one day {when the young man who had built his career, built a solid foundation for a family, became a father to two delightful human daughters and one sweet canine daughter,} that he would propose to his long time love, who he had put up with lovingly so for nineteen years. 

{Though she often lost her temper, ate a lot of cheese, got way too deep into conversation sometimes that he thought he needed a psych degree just to relate to what she had to offer, she slept late and stayed up even later, she had the yearning to globe-trot, see lots of concerts, often freakishly change her hair so dramatically that he could only just get used to one look before she did a switcheroo on him...he still asked.  Bless his sweet soul.}

She said YES. 

Which brings us to this day.  When just over two years of being engaged has even the children asking, "When are we getting married?"

So she found a venue.

She found a dress. (Shhhh!~don't tell him.)

Now, if she can find two matching wedding bands she'll be all set.

:)

At one time she wanted to marry in tents beneath starry skies, in a red saree, and with everyone in attendance.  Beaches with sand would have been nice, or old expansive properties chock full of cows and chickens (seriously!). 

But she has settled on what her spirit wants the most, an outdoor wedding amidst the firs and pines, with a campfire.  Beer.  The Tragically Hip, The Weepies and Deadmau5 playing on in the background {cause she loves to boogie on down}. Loved ones.  Simplicity.  {He agrees, whole heartedly.}

So in the summer of 2011, they shall finally tie the knot.  *Tink!* here is to them not dragging their heels any longer.  {This taught them the value of waiting for things.}

xoxo

Candy apples at the carnival.

A sigh and a cold breeze and lo!~fall was upon us.  Crunchy blue candy apples awaited us.  With bated breath I clock-watched as my daughter and her friend scurried about on their own at the fair in the country which caused me undue stress but when oh when! is one supposed to let go?  Trust?  Allow the ten year old child to stretch her wings and fly?  Albeit with a borrowed watch and an hourly check-in at the ferris wheel?

The entire drive home was peppered with hysterical laughter, gummy worms, rude jokes and in general just totally rocked. The five year old gets her kicks calling everyone 'poopylip'.

No, not sure.  Don't know. Maybe she picked it up in school? Yes, it's entirely dumb. But not to her.  To her it is the funniest thing she has ever heard. xo

p.s. the song is for her :D (she walks around singing it, after all)

You can't go back now...

The damp chill of this morning demanded to be spooned. I obliged.  Then I dashed to get ready for what would become the laziest day of this entire summer.  Though I lounge about, I must feel *put together*, it jives well with my self-care manifesto.  Donning an over sized purple grandfather cardigan and ripped up boyfriend jeans {You paid for those? Wow, have I got a new business idea...he states proudly} and stuffing peanut butter toast in my yap I give Olivia a quick lesson in picture taking. She loves this, as she has inherent talents I can only dream of.  She snaps away, knowing to shoot what she *sees* and not what others deem 'a technically correct' photo.  I love that about her.  {I'd like to think she gets that from me.}

Well my feet protest this cold, for they despise socks and they reluctantly wear them to their chagrin. 'We've laboured all year!' they shout.  'And this is the thanks we get?'

Enjoy all your lazy day holds, drink up the company of those you love, make waves, rock the boat, and just generally run about causing untold and boisterous hi-jinks to occur.  Leave your mark on this day!

But in the end the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself.~the Weepies

xoxo

Leap gleefully into your weekend....!

Al Khalil Glass factory, Jordan

 

 I hope you all have a gleeful weekend bursting with family & sunshine & joy!

 

This weekend will be one to try on new summer shoes. {Birkenstocks, for comfort and toe breathability.}  I'll run at least five kilometers.  {Over two days, so two point five and two point five.} I'll lift weights.  I'll eat tubs of delicious yogurt.  I'll see my nephew return home from the East coast where he is feeding his brain at university.  {A party will ensue.}  I'll send my fiance off to the East coast and beg him to return with packets of my favourite fish-Arctic Char.  I'll play basketball with my kids and their current favouite games of Memory Match and Mastermind.  {Puzzles, so the brain gets exercised too.}  I'll send prayers out to the sweetest little girl who spent time in the emergency room two nights ago due to an unfortunate accident (no, not one of my girls. And I ask that you keep your fingers crossed for her that all heals well.) I also hope to spend time outside...after work finishes today of course. :)

 

What are YOU doing? May I suggest:

• running two kilometers
• getting a new haircut
• go for a nature walk and collect three treasures to bring home
• play with your dog(s)
• rent a foreign film to watch tonight
• drink one delicious glass of red wine while you watch it-sipping slowly to savour the bouquet
• try something arty.  paint.  photograph something.  write a short story for yourself.

xo

 

 

dream sharing & evolutions of the soul

An e-mail conversation today shed some light on the evolution of my soul.  For that I am entirely grateful. You know how when something happens to you in life that you feel is unfair, then later on after the lesson is learned you are clear about the reasons why? Then you can't doubt that it was for the best? I had a moment like that today.  I was explaining a situation to someone and a lightbulb clicked.  I whispered a tiny prayer and shushed it out to the great wide Open.  {I almost burst with glee.} I am healing a deep wound.  It feels great.  We are all in charge of these things.  Repeated mistakes are by grand design-instead of playing victim, turn it around to your advantage.  {Have I told you I'm a warrior? I fight the good fight.}

My daughter had her own soul evolution today.  We worked through it, but she is hurting.  Only time will help her.  After our chat we watched the Olympic women's hockey.  (I explained to her that the USA team were crying because they wanted the gold medal, not the silver.  She thinks they will come to love the silver in time, and she is right.  She states: "Getting to the Olympics period is an achievement! They should be proud!" What a kid.)

Ah Petra.  I'm on my way. I relish seeing my good friend Tara again.  That globe trotting, head-squarely-on-her-shoulders good friend of mine.  I am fortunate & count my blessings to be able to see her in such a culture rich & beautiful setting.  I'll check my CMB¹ tomorrow for Susanna's *winged messengers*.  I only check my mail once every week or so, it is the height of laziness I assure you.  Tomorrow being the last mail day before I go, I'm hoping they will fly right out of the CMB to greet me with open wings! Pictured above are the wings Susanna sent me before.  I just love how they photograph.  If you follow me on FB², then you will have to check in and see any photos I post for you.  Wishing you well on your own soul journeys, both spiritual & physical.  Navigating this stuff can be challenging.  I know we can do it. {With each others help of course.  For how else can great things be achieved?}

xoxo

¹ community mail box

² Facebook

Is suffering really necessary? Yes and no.

If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion. You would not be reading this now. Suffering cracks open the shell of ego, and then comes a point where it has served his purpose.

Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.
*Eckhart Tolle*