the dreaming Press.

Imagine their joy!

 

Last Friday morning, my grandfather died.  He was 92.  He came to Canada by ship and landed at Pier 21 when he arrived in Halifax.  He began his new life here in Toronto, and then brought his family over once he was established a year later.  He was a hard worker.  He loved to grow fruit.  He will be missed greatly by all of us who knew him well.

A ship sails and I stand watching till she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says
She is gone.

Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large now as when I last saw her.  Her diminished size and total loss from my sight is in me, not in her.

And just at that moment, when someone at my side says she is gone, there are others who are watching her coming over their horizon and other voices take up a glad shout -There she comes!

That is what dying is.
An horizon and just the limit of our sight.

Lift us up O Lord, that we may see further.

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free

~Bishop Brent

***

Miss me a little - but not too long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me - but let me go

For this is a journey that we must all take
And each must go alone
It's all a part of the Master's plan
A step on the road to home

When you are lonely, and sick of heart
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me - but let me go

~Anonymous

 

My Grandpa doesn't want a large funeral.  Immediate family only, and no parties!  (He was a very practical guy.)  He came to Toronto, Canada in the early '50's from Portugal to make a better life for his three children and his wife. 

On Friday morning my beloved Grandpa quietly went to a new place, a better place. Those who went before him must have seen him walking towards them and I can only imagine their joy! To see his handsome face once again.  Why I'm sure my Grandma clasped her hands together and then over her mouth all the while talking a mile a minute in Portuguese.  And I am most sure that they are together again, walking along that beach on a most glorious balmy day. 

Til we meet again, Grandpa.  I hold the fondest of memories in my heart that no one can diminish or take away.

I love you.

xoxo

Good day sunshine :)

 
Good day sunshine!

Enjoy this day whatever it brings...fresh meyer lemons or hot cinnamon teas, lavender pillows and soft subtle breeze.

xo

Hello blueberries!

 
Succulent, juicy organic blueberries.

Lately I'm eating for cellular health.  If it doesn't make my soul sing, I refuse to eat it.  Which means, no more junk for me.  At least this week. 

Verdant, lush green spinach.

Here is my simple yet totally healthy and yummy salad:

Spinach

Spanish onion & poppy seed dressing

Handful of organic unsalted sunflower seeds

Fruit of your choosing.

Eat!

As you can plainly see, I chose blueberries.

{I'm off now to dream a beautiful dream, goodnight and sleep tight.}

 

xoxo

The library sessions.

 

 The cold lingers on, yet it doesn't faze us much.  We stay in.  Simple as that. My phone bleats every now and then, messages from my oldest friend on what flour makes great bread, what naps she is taking and other news.  These are the things that make a life.

It's movie night with my eldest offspring tonight, one catch though.  We must watch the movie while running on the treadmill and eliptical machines.  Two birds, one stone.

I'm having a ball with my iPhone.  I cannot stop snapping away.  I'm addicted {in a good way} to all it's bells and whistles.  A song. (From the Bookshop Sessions)  Of course you knew it would be them! {I'm going to make small films at the library.  I will call them The Library Sessions. Oh yes, why not.  Books and words and pages and LOVE.}

Til next time, xoxo! Bake, sing, jump, hug & hollah!!!! {Pray}

 

Escapism 101

 

When life gets me down, I tend to rebound by trying to stay up.  So today we are packing for a vacation that is still two weeks away...we are house cleaning, playing with Barbies, playing with the Wii (I'm a kick ass pro bowler kids, have I mentioned?), playing Zhu Zhu pets hair salon, reading and baking honey whole wheat bread.  It is bitterly cold outside after the snow storm we had.  Although it looks sunny, your nose hairs freeze into tiny slivers the minute you open the door.

I am sending out positive vibes and happyness to those who need it. (Deliberate misspelling, in my mind there is a difference between the two.)

So sing!  Even if you are off key and missing some of the words like I am in this video.

Bake, even though it is misshapen and a funny colour-it will taste great just ask any ten year old.

Thank you to My Courageous Life for the uplifting snail mail, it couldn't have arrived at a more needed time.  I get choked up just saying that.  Love to her a thousand fold!

Things to look forward to:

Cuba!

A meeting with two blogging friends who happen to be two of my oldest friends in the Universe soon...can't wait!

Working out to Mad Men, Season One...an episode every day for two days, then one day off-and so on as the pattern. Also giving up the red wine has melted the calories off me...just thought I'd share that.  I drink cinnamon tea now instead to relax me before bed, so much nicer!  So excited to start Mad Men!!!

Playing in the snow as soon as it warms up.  Snowmen, snowwomen, and snoweverything the minute we can tolerate the cold. Hot chocolate too.

Escaping through videos (watching and making), reading, creating, sorting, chatting and cooking.

Make a video of your life and link here so I can see it.  Darlene made one and she was so adorable and inspiring I had to follow suit.

xoxo

 

 
Shoes that fit your feet alone.

Shoes you've worn through wintry weather, through the grocery store, in the queue at church.

Comfortable.  Yours.  Worn in to your gait, leaning to or fro.  Worn on one side.  Scuffed toe.

Parked beside your bed. Waiting for your feet but your feet will never step into them again.

I sit.  I see you.  I see how alike we are.  How our faces could have most definitely been carved from the same model.  Our mannerisms when you were once more animated, were nearly twinned. 

Your daughter's teeth and mine, interchangeable.  So alike in size, shape and shift.

I pray. <----{thank you}

You are one.

Three preceded you.  {Three await, smiling-anxious.}

Talk from the kitchen scares me.  It seems disconnected, yet in reality-it is entirely grounded.  Spirit & practicality do not mix & mingle well it would seem.

Vacations not taken.  Regrets.  Sighs.

Unmentionable sadness pervades. 

You breathe in, you breathe out.  It is purposeful, wilful.  I'm not surprised. 

When our eyes met on Tuesday-yours (and I'm sure mine) lit up with a sparkling recognition & I felt such love for you.  If you must leave then do so.  We weren't meant to live forever here.  But take with you some of us, will you? A part of us that will remain with you forever until we meet again.

I close my eyes.  I'm six.  You are serving me a charcoal grilled steak and a garden salad in a wooden bowl-we are seated at the wooden picnic table.  You smile at me.  We are in your backyard, which went on for miles and miles then sloped down towards a park. 

I close my eyes.  I'm fifteen.  I'm in your house in Florida.  I'm sneaking out for a cigarette.  Grandma is feeding me so much that I return home almost ten pounds heavier.

I close my eyes.  I'm remembering the bright orange Volkswagon Beetle you drove.  I smile.

When we went to leave on Tuesday, you grabbed Olivia's hand and said, "May God bless you forever."

We drove home silently in tears.

xo

Words like drifting petals~on a Sunday.

 
Words I've read reach into my heart sometimes like the silken petals from a fading flower...once spoken they drift and spin and settle in my psyche...some linger with me longer than others...

"This wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. You don't want to mix emotions up with a wine like that. You lose the taste." {The Sun Also Rises}

“I had rescued the moment by using my camera and in that way had found how to stop time and hold it. No one could take that image away from me because I owned it.” {The Lovely Bones}

"She is the noor of my eyes and the sultan of my heart." {A Thousand Splendid Suns}

 I'm embarking upon a day of quietude.  I will read, water plants to rehydrate them (the poor things this winter weather!), I'll write in my manifestation journal, listen to music joyfully, pray, pray some more, go sledding with the kids.  I feel a big batch of soup coming on and a loaf of homemade bread too.  Enjoy your Sunday, best day of the week.

xo

 

unusual Earth magic~

 
Winter brings with it a sleepyness that I find irresistable.

Mid afternoon when I can get away with it of course, I love to nap.  Even a twenty minute one will do.  To stop and close the lids over my weary eyes makes me so happy happy.

I never ever check my blog stats but today I peeked in there out of natural human curiosity and I found that someone was led to my blog after they typed in a search for "unusual Earth magic".  Funny, huh?

Okay so I suppose I do check my blog stats.  Otherwise how would I have known someone Bing-ed unusual Earth magic? It would of course have to have been...magic!

That would make an excellent blog name.  Or even a great name for a book! Hmmm, maybe I'll write it myself. :)

xox Happy days and unusual magic is wished upon you this fine Friday evening.

oh, and another thing...two years ago, while meeting my gorgeous friend in NYC for a weekend...I went to see All My Sons on Broadway, starring Katie Holmes, John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest and Patrick Wilson (the same gent who stars in Morning Glory with our darling Canadian actress Rachel McAdams...and subsequently the above video I linked.)...  I was 3rd row center.  I saw the beads of sweat on John Lithgow's brow.  I was alone because I was yet to meet my friend until the next morning, yet I was not.  I was enveloped in a world where I was swallowed up and taken in, the theatre.  My hubby texted me during the intermission..."How's it Lithgow-ing?" he inquired.  Sheepishly I answered him, "Oh so fabulously." I thought I was there to see the beautiful and talented Katie Holmes (who did a phenomenal job btw...loved her...)  Another funny and kooky aside...I got lost on the way to the theatre.  The yellow cab dropped me off God-knows-where in Midtown Manhattan...it was snowing lightly.  I got out and wandered in to the next building and do you know what building it was?

The Church of  Scientology Centre.  On 46th. I was supposed to be at the theatre on 45th.  They kindly directed me, with a sly smile of course.  Because I said to the girl at the desk, "Where is the Katie Holmes play?" 

"Through the concourse there it will take you to 45th.  You can't miss it!" she says.

After the fact, I thought..."How odd.  Tom Cruise...Scientologist.  Katie Holmes...?" Hello.  Fill in the blanks.
:)

Damn.

 
Cotes du Roussillon Villages, 2006-busted cork

I pondered the inherent beauty of mistakes today.  I hold each of mine like a glimmering jewel in my pocket, and when they finally come to light to show off their truth, they can't help but bring a smile to my face. I get moments sometimes while sitting or even mid-conversation (yikes!) when the memory of some long past thing comes surfacing like a little bubble from the deep...and it perhaps used to bother me but not anymore.  Now when the bubble cracks the surface of the ocean it breathes and lives and proves that no thing is a mistake.  It is kind of like stepping back to look at the thing in the third person, like a witness to your own life.  It is healing.  It is forgiving.  It breathes new space back into your lungs. 

No such thing as failure kids.  Our human journey seems fraught with it, but really our so-called failures are like golden nuggets that make us far richer than we'll ever know (for this moment.) So go easy on yourselves.  Be gentle with yourself.  Big mistakes or small.  Every single one has been built into the blueprint of who you are for a grand purpose.  It is all just part of the ride.

xoxo

 

Connections & karma.

 
The morning drive is all about the music.  Loud & lovely.  {Oh just go buy the album already, it is fantastic, every last song. Repeatedly. They are poets.} Singing, at the top of our lungs.  The kids exit at the school, I continue on singing solo all the way to work.

I can bake now.  Did I tell you? I'm most impressed.  The kids think I'm a star.  (Shhh, let's allow that for awhile, shall we? They're still young after all.) Okay now for something random yet important methinks.

While reading an article tonight I gasped aloud, and a tear sprang to my eyes.  I sense a very divine connection here in the world of the interwebs, but reading this particular story drilled it home for me.  An expectant woman befriended another on one of those mommy websites, it then became their meeting place to chat and swap stories of expectations, hopes & dreams.  They carried on throughout their pregnancies, births & subsequent child rearing together online, all the while exchanging correspondence, advice and friendship. 

One day while looking at a photograph of the other's child, the woman noticed a distinctively different colour of the child's pupil.  It was white in the photograph, and due to a previous encounter with such a thing, she emailed her online friend immeditately to suggest a doctor's visit.  Her intention wasn't to alarm the woman or cause trouble, just to help. 

It turned out that the child had retinoblastoma.  The email likely saved the child's life.  She has a prosthetic eye now, and is cancer free after having multiple chemo & radiation treatments. 

Why bother telling you this? Because I used to view the internet as superficial.  Social media to me was a waste of time.  Networking and building connections with strangers seemed odd to me.  But in the last year I've really come to value the friendships I've made online.  Each connection a link to my world.  Online life is valuable too.  I hear all the time that people want to limit their online time, to get a "real life" etc.  But to them I say everything in moderation.

There is a reason far beyond what you can see right now for you reading this at this very moment.  And another for you having connected with me at all, be it online or in "real life".  In some cases, with some of you, I've had the pleasure of both.  I've never been disappointed to meet any of you.  Not one, single, solitary regret.

I've flown to Vancouver, Arizona, New York & Florida just to meet with other bloggers.  (I've driven to Toronto and had lunch with a blogger. I have met with the most delightful and charming blogger for lunch and shopping in Niagara on the Lake and we plan to do it again in the spring.)

Each experience different from the next and with each I've had a kind of enlightenment.  Each person has lit up my life to some degree.  So the next time you make an online connection, don't dismiss it as superficial.  You get what you put out.  Remember that simple rule: you attract back in what you have put out into the world. {Plant your hopes with good seeds.}

If you like to sing loud in cars, take photographs, bake, and travel out into the world to meet beautiful "strangers" then perhaps that is what you will get back too. {And you just may even save someone's life.}

xoxo