As of approximately yesterday...no kidding-I feel like I'm awake after a long, drawn out, foggy sleep. Figuratively speaking. These last few weeks held little if any promise at all. I was trudging along just doing the required bare minimum. Totally lacking "mojo". I was "mojo-less."
I worried during these last few weeks how my mood was affecting those around me. No one seemed to notice. Then I said something about it. Unbeknownst to me those around me were walking about in their own fogs of different calibres. {We each have our own demons and our own worries that keep us awake at night.} In fact some people around me shared the same thoughts as I did, and when it was mentioned I heard a "Me too!", or a "I thought I was the only one!"
The 'no mojo' thing stemmed from having a lack of defined purpose. I suppose it was always there, but don't we get blind to things that are "everyday" sometimes? Funny how purpose plays into our lives. I recently rediscovered mine. It is a neatly packaged gift that I deliver to those around me each day. It's in the meal preparations. It's in the sharp tuck of a bedsheet. The windows get thrown open and fresh air spills into the room. It is a simple phrase or a gentle encouragement.
I rediscovered it. Thank goodness! {And for awhile I think I was looking too hard for answers. Solutions. Magic bullets.}
The answer came when I...let go.
I dropped my expectations. {Letting go produces a myriad of results.} The answers pop up where you least expect them. Then dawnings of thought occur when sitting still within the quiet moments. As well, driving the car {alone!} produces a nugget or two of wisdom. {It is times like these when fingers can't scrawl fast enough, pencil on paper too laborious. It is then that a small recording device would come in handy. It is also much safer for other drivers on the road~!}
Which brings us to today. Today O fetched the mail. She hands me a beautiful flowered silver envelope. Postmarked from Santa Monica. A delightful and hilarious surprise spilled out and made me laugh for a good five minutes. Blessings fly in like owl mail sometimes. When you least expect them to. Which is the way it happens...because as we discussed looking too hard for things makes them not come. It's kind of a Murphy's Law of sorts.
So keep on not looking for your happiness!!
It's bound to drop through the chimney at some point. Then and only then shall you laugh yourself silly knowing that the Universe has bigger plans for you than you know.
xoxo
Keep up the dreamin'.
This was EXACTLY what I needed to read tonight, darling Gillian. Thank you, thank you. Sending love your way . . .
xoxo Gigi
Posted by: Gigi | June 11, 2010 at 01:31 AM
Thanks for these words, they are definitely what I needed to hear. "Let Go" will be my mantra today.
Posted by: Marilyn | June 11, 2010 at 08:48 AM
A no-mojo-Gil is a sad thing indeed. So can you tell us, what spilled out of the envelope? Oh I know, it was a hundred chipmunks in tutu's. No wait, socks with the toes in and penguins all over them!
Glad you are better. Shine on.
Posted by: Steve | June 11, 2010 at 08:49 AM
Hee - she's sassy, is she not?
This is a beautiful post, and also spot on with where I've been, this past week in particular. Thank you for sharing your story. I am missing you like crazy.
Posted by: Swirly | June 11, 2010 at 09:42 AM
This was such a lift, Gillian... I've been feeling the same! Thank you for the inspiration. :o) Happy Weekend... Oh, I'm celebrating my blogiversary this weekend with a little gift giveaway--stop by if you can. ((HUGS))
Posted by: Tracy | June 11, 2010 at 10:21 AM
ahhhh, wise words Gillian...I think we all go through this, weather seems to effect me greatly. Sun shining, birds chattering...flowers swaying in the breeze...lifts my spirits.
x..x
Posted by: Stephanie | June 11, 2010 at 11:37 AM
your posts and images always calm me when I need calming and inspire me when I need a nudge
Posted by: Leslie | June 11, 2010 at 09:57 PM
KINDRED!!! This is too wild. I let go too!
In a different way, but still!!
Many hugs you Gilly Love!
Posted by: A Fanciful Twist | June 11, 2010 at 10:24 PM
:D
Missing you Swirly!!!!
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | June 11, 2010 at 11:36 PM
I sometimes think we lose the tempo... set ourselves at cross-purposes to the dance. Letting go is the way back in. Trust.
I know that pop mysticism persuades us that we ourselves are God, or have that potential. But what so often surprises and delights me about a brush with the divine is its sweet and potent otherness. The way it comes so out of left field, that I know it isn’t me... and I’m unspeakably comforted.
When the early church intuited the existence of a trinity, it was on to something. What if God, out of all reason, is an eternal relationship... forever dynamic, mutually deferential and inspiring, animated by love and therefore the source of love. Inviting us to come and join the dance...
Posted by: Jeaux | June 15, 2010 at 08:14 AM