Water water water.
Treading lagoons of water. Fending off the monsoons that siege my peaceful existence. And for this-I'm thankful. It's carving me into the person I set out to be. It is like the sculptor, and at my death-I'll be the sculpted piece of art that was always intended.
Last night I dreamed I was shooing my old cat out a patio door, he had claws, and was trying to stay IN. I was insistent, and forceful with him without hurting him and so he eventually gave up and left. I knew he needed bigger and brighter experiences than I could offer him. He needed to go out and find his passions. (I'm of course speaking metaphorically & dreaming metaphorically...there were many events as of late that I won't bore you with. Just know that sometimes we all need a gentle push, though we hang on with our bare claws-digging in, digging in & digging in to the old familiar we are so comfortable with.
It was time to do some letting go of things that did not fare well for me. It was tough. But I'm all the better for it. I've grown, and I feel the void inside me grow smaller each day whenever life hands me one of her lessons on a silver platter that I dine on and digest brilliantly. This one I digested-and it went to every cell...energizing me and revving me up for the next challenge in the human race.
I'd like to thank my late cat Oscar for his guest cameo in my dream last night...I love you Boo. Hope you are faring well on the other side. And to the mystery man apparition who stood smiling at me at my bedside with a grin as wide as a cheshire cat, who had rather large feet with (I think?) tap shoes on, a perfect smile and who was rather tall.....I thank you. I thank you for evaporating into the night from whence you came, and leaving me with a peaceful easy feeling amidst a trail ablaze with starlight. {3 a.m. is a magical time for visitors...}
Oh and to you dear reader, thank you for letting me purge my soul again. I'm journeying hard these days. But like you, I'll get through with a little help from my friends. xo
To sleep, perchance to dream....for me, it's the best part of sleeping...the dreams...they tell me so much, they open my eyes, even the "uneasy" ones.
I hear you on letting go, on moving forward, leaving something behind. It's such a necessary part of growth and survival.
It's always a delight to read what you've thought, felt, experienced. You have such a way with language!! xo
Sweet dreams!
Posted by: Sherry | March 25, 2010 at 02:04 PM
Darling Gill - You never cease to amaze and inspire me with the way you embrace life - and its myriad lessons - with enthusiasm and curiosity. A trail ablaze with starlight, indeed! xoxox
Posted by: Tara Bradford | March 25, 2010 at 02:04 PM
I hear you on the letting go, the moving forward, and the leaving behind. It is hard, even when necessary. I'm glad you are seeing your trail ahead blazing with starlight!
Posted by: Elizabeth | March 25, 2010 at 02:18 PM
IIt seems like evverytime Im feeling down and hopeless I just happen to read an inspiring post from you that wakes me up! Thanks as always! I know I havent been commenting.. but i certainly have been reading! :)
Posted by: Randi Gardner | March 25, 2010 at 02:51 PM
Making no decision is still making a decision....congratulations on choosing your peace and happiness my friend...may the answers to the conundrums be swift, and may expectation flood your soul. Love you~ xo
Posted by: Jenn*~ | March 25, 2010 at 04:38 PM
Methinks you are in need of a Floridacation.....
Posted by: Pam Aries | March 25, 2010 at 07:20 PM
What an interesting dream, Gillian, and I like your analysis of it. It sounds like you are a good personal journey, figuring out where you want to go next. And it sounds like you know yourself well enough to know WHAT you want - maybe not everything but something.
Posted by: susanna's sketchbook | March 25, 2010 at 07:49 PM
Traveling stirs the juices and the journey becomes more wonderful. Love that you are open to the possibilities.
Posted by: Marilyn | March 25, 2010 at 08:35 PM
There must be something in the air...it has been a strange couple of weeks for quite a few people I know. Sending you more beautiful, message-bearing dreams and peaceful sleep in between. xoxo
Posted by: Swirly | March 25, 2010 at 11:56 PM
I echo swirly ... it seems to be a time for shifting and changing .... 'journalling hard'- love this
Posted by: kath | March 26, 2010 at 09:21 AM
Water carves rock. It's one of the most powerful forces on earth... second only to dreams.
Very generous of Oscar to play the antagonist in your dream. Only very dear old friends can do that and leave a trail of starlight.
Posted by: Jeaux | March 26, 2010 at 03:35 PM
I love everything you write Gilly and your beautiful eye for photography. Can't wait to see all the marvels you have photographed in Jordan.
Posted by: Yoli | March 26, 2010 at 05:46 PM
YES what Jeaux said.
Water is all at once the softest yet the strongest.
muah muah
Posted by: gemma | March 26, 2010 at 09:33 PM
I had to visit again after seeing your comment on my blog and tell you that every day I love you more.
Posted by: Swirly | March 28, 2010 at 10:40 PM
lol
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | March 28, 2010 at 11:44 PM
Jeaux, very generous of YOU to play the protagonist :) Though you would deny it to the very ends.... :)
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | March 28, 2010 at 11:46 PM
Oh Gem...only today Julian tells me how much I would LOVE Sedona. Love it, he says. :(
sigh.
We must meet again. We must. Love you!
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | March 28, 2010 at 11:47 PM
Oh Swirly girl...thank you. The feeling is mutual. xoxo
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | March 28, 2010 at 11:48 PM