I face a dilemma. Sigh. It is giving me some stress.
I am apprehensive of doing something that I know will bring me to a place I need to be in my future. The steps necessary to get there do not appeal to me so much. I am prone to thinking that if I just keep doing what I've always done, then I will be trapped in my comfort zone of inaction. I don't want to be there anymore, that is the dilemma. How do I take the next step? When I don't have the faith it requires?
I like to think of it this way. I am at place A. I need to be in place B. A straight line joins the two; a seamless integration between my existing world and my future world.
It is the line in between that keeps me in my comfort zone. Not knowing what geography or radius or mountain that line will need to traverse before it delivers me safely, and happily to B.
I don't want to make my mind up right now. It's really not up to me anyway...it's more of a cosmic collision of events, a chain reaction of smaller occurrences that need to uh, occur. Culminating in a more fruitful, and opportunistic future. I'm really striving for optimism here, because I am lacking confidence to do this thing required of me.
Universe, could you step in here and take over while I mull this, please?
While I mull, I've been posting photos with my good friend over at 'sea to sky sundays'. Hey, a girl needs to have fun while she mulls. :)
I hope your mulling isn't prolonged...I wrote in the company of my muse today about a similar topic. Confronting change is difficult...even if it is desired. <3
Posted by: Cynthia Pittmann | February 21, 2009 at 06:13 PM
As Mark Twain said,""Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you did not do than by the things you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
Cheers, Shelagh
Posted by: shelagh | February 22, 2009 at 07:32 AM
Change is always good but rarely easy. Have faith in yourself and the decisions you make will be the right ones and if not, you will grow from it.
Good luck in your dilemma and remember to b-r-e-a-t-h-e
I haven't posted on here in forever but am always reading and visiting!
Posted by: Lisa P | February 22, 2009 at 07:38 AM
Aloha Gill,
your heart has already made up it's mind, your brain just needs time to catch up..
PEace, Kai
Posted by: kai | February 22, 2009 at 11:34 AM
Hello universe, are you listening? : ) A gentle push never hurt, right? : )
Posted by: Christina | February 22, 2009 at 12:52 PM
Aw, what neat comments you have already received! Gillian, I wish you happiness in whatever path you're on. You're a joy, I hope you know that.
Posted by: Shay | February 22, 2009 at 05:51 PM
Well you know what I think - you have to act to make it happen; don't sit and wait. It's up to you and you have the power to do whatever is needed. I know you can accomplish anything you set out to do, but you must believe in yourself! Gorgeous photo. Am off to visit your Sea & Sky. xoxox
Posted by: Tara Bradford | February 22, 2009 at 07:15 PM
hi darling girl.
Get to doing whatever you need to be doing....no dilly dallying. One life. We're the driver. Living life at risk - it's the only way.
love,
m
PS lovely image.
Posted by: Maryam | February 23, 2009 at 02:13 AM
Gill in my experience an attitude of watchful awareness, which is a kind of prayer, is often exactly what's needed. You're on the right track right where you are. Most things are settled in the heart and mind first. When that happens, how and when the circumstances arrive is a note in the margin.
Posted by: Jeaux | February 23, 2009 at 10:11 AM
i think that there are move than one way to connect a to b ... usually there are a series of ways some straight and linear and some curvy and fun and some jagged and awkward ... find the one that you are most comfortable with and take a deep breathe and begin :)
trust yourself ~ we are always more courageous than we think we can be ... always, xo
Posted by: daisies | February 23, 2009 at 11:46 AM
good luck ms. gillian in whatever decision you decide to undertake. i went through this similar situation this past june when deciding to take a huge leap in my career. the comfort zone just wasn't good enough for me and i'm happy beyond words in my new situation though it has undoubtedly come with much stress, and its own ups and downs.
peace and a clear frame of mind.
Posted by: Cristina B. | February 23, 2009 at 06:39 PM
Sometimes we need to realize change is inevitable and it's better to take action when we have an idea of what we can expect than to wait and be forced into it when we're totally ready. (I don't know if that makes any sense, Chica...but I've been in situations where making a move has empowered me because once I got going, I grew and gained strength from it.)
I will be praying for you and putting positive vibes out there hoping you do what you have to when you have to and not a moment sooner.
Peace and love...
Ily
Posted by: Scarlet | February 23, 2009 at 09:36 PM
I meant "when we're totally NOT ready." Sorry, amiga...it's late. ;)
Posted by: Scarlet | February 23, 2009 at 09:37 PM
Hi Blue,
I just wanted to check in and make sure you knew about the GPS gathering this June.
Sorry, but I don't have an email address for you.
GPS link: http://glittersisters.blogspot.com/2009/02/gps-june-2009-gathering-white-rock.html
Posted by: Nicci | February 23, 2009 at 09:44 PM
I think the word change gives us all pause but often times change is what we really need so we don't stagnate. Whatever this challenge is I have every confidence you can rise up to meet it. I think you have all that is needed within you to steer the right course and find the best way to get to the next stop. In fact, I am just a wee bit amazed you aren't there already. I want to be you when I grow up! :)
XOXOXOXOXO
Posted by: Lisa Swifka | February 23, 2009 at 09:58 PM
Leap and the net will be provided.
Posted by: gemma | February 23, 2009 at 10:45 PM
Hi Gillian,
I know you will make the right decision, the right move.
What you write reminds me of this dichotomy:
1)How can the universe bless us with what we want, if we are not clear about what we want?
2) We can make our plans, but life happens along the way it seems. The right things seem to come to us, even make there way under the guise of unpleasant things.
Thinking of you.
Know you WILL make the right move,
the correct decision!!
All will be well!
xox
Constance
Posted by: Rochambeau | February 23, 2009 at 10:55 PM
It's so easy to stay in the safe-zone but, having the confidence to step outside of that boils down to knowing that you can win or fail at what you attempt to do. Knowing that you will go on with the knowledge from either the win or the loss is part of life and not something of which, we should avoid. There is always a new day afterwards, regardless of your choice.
I remember talking with someone once about going back to school. They were convinced they were too old to do that and how old they would be when they completed it. I asked how old they would be if they decided not to attend school in that same amount of time? Whether they decided to fill that time with school and knowledge or do nothing during the interim."Time marches on," and I think it is how one fills that time that's important and not whether they fail at it or succeed. The life experience of it is what they will take with them into the future. Good luck with your decision. ( Ultimately, the only one holding you back will be yourself. Trust yourself. )
Posted by: Butch | February 24, 2009 at 11:14 AM
hmmmm...I always say..Follow Your Heart...your intuition...gut feeling. Maybe you are not ready for this move yet, Grasshopper.
Posted by: pam aries | February 25, 2009 at 07:51 PM
You're a smart chickie, Gillian. You've gotten to where you are now - a happy and successful place - by listening to your head, heart and gut. Keep relying on those and you'll reach your next goal. You can do it!
Posted by: susanna's sketchbook | February 25, 2009 at 08:52 PM
Butch (said with an accent, like in Pulp Fiction) :)
Thank you, this has helped me more than you may know.
As have everyone's comments here. I'm blessed to be surrounded by such positivity.
I just love you guys.
xo
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | February 25, 2009 at 09:44 PM
I am having a similar problem. I love change - that's not my issue. My problem is organized, well-planned change. I'm an impulse person, and I have no gift for planning. This makes it difficult sometimes with the practical matters. Wishing you a clear mind.
Posted by: Maia | February 26, 2009 at 01:16 AM
Just do it.
Posted by: Yoli | February 27, 2009 at 01:30 AM
You can do it, you are a wonderful person with power and beauty, you will find that the steps you need to take seem a lot more difficult before you take them, it's like some one I remember I saw when we went swimming and you had to jump off of a rather tall cliff to fall into the water, they they just stood there looking over, and the fear over time would create more fear, but if you just jumped off without thinking, it was over before you knew it and you were there. If you really want to jump into the water and you know it will better yourself, just start. Sometimes before I start a craft project or a animation project, I can stall, but I find if I just sit in the chair and force myself to begin, the magic happens and I am glad I did. Especially when I have my result, and you will get your result if you begin.
Posted by: Gina | February 27, 2009 at 02:18 AM
i am a big believer in beshert. meant to be. it will happen.
Posted by: soeurs du jour | February 27, 2009 at 04:18 AM
Cooperation with the universe is safe. You go, girl!
Posted by: Pethra på Inredningsbloggen | February 27, 2009 at 01:18 PM
I was going to say exactly what Yoli said......so? What are you waiting for?
Your writing is superb. I get lost in it.
Posted by: karen cole | February 27, 2009 at 04:35 PM
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in should you turn left or right?
Or right and three quarters? Or maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple, it's not, I'm afraid you might find,
for a mind maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
Instead, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The waiting place...
NO! Thats not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying
You'll find the bright places
Where boom bands are playing.
Dr Seuss
Posted by: Lisa P | February 27, 2009 at 08:20 PM
Shreiking with delight Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG. Magical.
Thank you all, for each and every comment from the bottom of my heart.
I'm going to try to post something in the next day or two. Bear with me. Things is happenin round here and its all a bit much to bear.
xoxo
With love to all, !Gillian!
p.s. Lisa, the next time you go to a show in NY, you better invite me! xo
Posted by: Gillian daSilva | February 27, 2009 at 08:29 PM
Whatever it is, I know you will make the right decision at the right time, because you have confidence and faith in yourself. I can tell.
BTW, my art journal is not chronologically ordered either! I rather like it that way. xoxoxo
Posted by: Judie | February 28, 2009 at 07:28 AM
I'm a believer in being prepared so that when the universe presents itself we are ready to dive right in.
Looks like you have a lot of support here, I will add mine.
here's to life bowling us over, happily, like rolling in a warm sea wave.
x..x
Posted by: stephanie | March 03, 2009 at 11:04 AM